Blue has returned to the sky. The grey overyhang now feels lighter, and shafts of sunlight striking the grass bring hope. After breakfast I sat just within the entrance of the courtyard which lies at the heart of the seminary. Simply moving across the threshold welcomes an entrance to another world: the sense of space & time suddenly shifts. If anyone doubts the capacity of architecture to shape our experience, they might try this for themselves. But they'd need to find their own seminary and their own interior courtyard.
Hernan has visited me with a schedule of today's events. These are based around a public "Recital de Guitarra" by the Kitchen Team in the chapel this evening. Father Horacio & his group are coming from Buenos Aires & the village are invited. Donations are invited for Caritas Argentina. Not all the money contributed by Guitar Craft to this facility in the past 5 years appears to have reached its intended destination. Accordingly, the last time a Team performed in the chapel the (then) new bishop invited donations in food. This time, a new regime now in charge of the seminary, donations in food and/or cash are invited.
It is hard for an Anglo-Honkie from G7 to experience a sense of real poverty, although in some parts of the English countryside & inner cities this is frighteningly apparent. But here, it is different. The Kitchen Team do our shopping in the nearby town of Chascomus. On the last course, over lunchtime & just back from shopping, Hernan told me that a single mother in Chascomus had thrown herself under a train. The reason: she could not feed her child. But were her child to have no parent, the orphanage would care for them. So she threw herself under a train, this was the only way she knew to provide care for her child. And then Hernan added: "This is the third single mother to have done this in Chascomus this month".
There are Crafties here who work for less in a month than an unemployed person in the UK receives in benefits. The wife of a Crafty who came here early, to work on the fabric of the building, was unable to visit him at the weekend. She was sick, but to keep her job rested at weekends to recover sufficiently in time for her next week's work. Some Crafties can't afford the 'bus fare to the seminary from Buenos Aires ($30).
The Buenos Aires Guitar Circle support each other as they are able. On Tuesday Hernan is visiting the octogenarian parents of a Crafty who died of cancer recently (he was 47) with donations from other members of the Crafty Team. Life is financially hard here, and getting harder, but the networks of family & friends appear (to a visiting Anglo) to be of a very different quality to those I see at home.
13.33
One of the gringos who appears, to me, to have an interest in Guitar Craft has not yet quite asked his burning question. As I was about to sit at the lunch table I followed a hunch, walked to his place and asked: "What question do you really want to ask me?". Gringo was unable to hear this question until I asked it a third time. "You mean, right at this moment?". I shrugged and walked away. He came up to the top table and asked if he could sit there (facing me but away from the room). "Yes, but that's the worst seat in the house. Better trying one of the flanks. But if you sit on the top table you must be prepared to accept questions or be presented with challenges". I note, en passant, that the top table is not a safe place to be: this seating carries with it responsibilities.
So, Gringo sat on my left and the only question he asked throughout lunchtime was "Would you like a coffee?". "No, thank you".
The Kitchen Team played 3 pieces and, judging by their faces, looked as if they were having a terrible time. A face holding an expression like this is known as "Guitar Craft Face". Something like a hairy, bespectacled, earnest, male Crimson-fan face but to the power of three.
What is the worst you might imagine about-to-be-becoming-happening in your life? Answer this question with a facial expression:
= beginning Guitar Craft face.
Then, remove from this face all possibility that life without pain is possible; hold the notion that joy has been extracted from the universe over eons by a cosmic suction pump twice the size of the universe itself; then throw in the concept of infinite time in which to practice the First & Second Primaries:
= Guitar Craft face up-and-running.
Hey! And it gets better even than this. Like, if you're German. Until Guitar Craft went to Germany, the Face was only in the early stages of development. And that's another story.
16.03
One of the Level One has begun to insult me in Spanish. Mr. Ugo of the Kitchen wondered if I knew of this. Actually, yes.
Insults carry a certain charge which permeate whichever language is being spoken. Words carry intention, in the same way that notes passed around the guitar circle convey the state of their player. If we are in a bad state, words are unnecessary: posture, personal aroma & facial expression are more than enough to warn off anyone nearby. More subtle forms of negativity have shapes in the personal energy field, and are easily apparent to experts in energetics. But ordinary people, like us, instinctively & intuitively sense it. Probably, this is part of our animal nature; part of our survival mechanism.
Visitors to this diary, Elephant Talk, and those who take an interest in matters Crimson, are aware that not everyone of my personal & professional acquaintance look upon either myself, or my work, with unalloyed approval. But to be nasty to another, and effectively so, is very hard: our conduct shows us to be at least as much a jerk as the individual (whoever it is) we describe. This lack of grace & courtesy undermines our credibility as critic. But, there's nothing new about this observation. Some public commentaries & reviews, whether by a professional writer or former personal / professional acquaintance, radiates toxicity. I was handed a print-out of one such commentary several months ago: I sensed its dis-ease emanating from the paper. How is this possible, I wonder? The dis-ease which emanates from the words is something apart from the nominal grounds for disagreement. The formal points of disagreement may be formally addressed; what then remains is toxicity, but with no place to go. So, it festers within the disputant.
19.06
Two hours & 30 minutes of interviews with generous & interested national press & radio.
The disaffected member of the Level One was given the opportunity to leave honourably, but has decided to stay. Good: this is the better course of action.
"Expect nothing."
